The Amityville Horror

Summary:
The famous house in Amityville, at 112 Ocean Avenue was the scene of a gruesome family murder. Soon after the horrifying events, the Lutz family of five takes the place of the DeFeo's, unaware of the house's history. Once again, an evil series of events transpires, and over 28 days George Lutz slowly starts to go crazy in the haunted house.

Review:
This is 'based on a true story'. OK, fine, go ahead and say that, but the truth of the matter is that yes, the DeFeo family was brutally murdered, and yes, the Lutz family lived there for 28 days before leaving for good. The rest of this movie is almost completely a horror movie concoction, and that's completely alright with me. Did it entertain? That's what's important.
If you've seen Kubrick's The Shining (or even King/Garris's version), then you've seen a much scarier and more interesting rendition of Amityville Horror. The husband of the family slowly starts going insane, driven by the evil spirits of the house.
When it comes to real scares, Amityville is almost all surface bullshit that is fright at its' cheapest and most predictable level. There's very little tension from one scene to another, the scares are almost all reliant upon using loud noises to make you jump. When the evil spirits are in full force, it's always a 'dark and stormy night'. There's also a decent amount of gore, including some blood flowing out of faucets (oooh, whoopee, I didn't see THAT one coming from 5000 miles away!) and flowing from light switches for no discernable reason, mutilated spirit entities, demon faces showing themselves and disappearing just as quickly, quick glimpses of the DeFeo murder scene, etc... This is all your stock cookie-cutter rendition of the horror cliches, and they aren't brought to us with any kind of new 'flavor' or energy.
What I especially did not appreciate was seeing another damned young girl 'spirit'. If I make a horror movie, I will vow NOT to have a young girl spirit in it. I will also vow NOT to have the kid in the family talking to the spirit and telling their parents typical shit like, "[ghost girl] is nice, and she won't hurt you. But she says that the Bad Man makes her Do Things that she doesn't like. But she tells me not to tell you about it, so I won't tell you." Having the young Jodie spirit isn't entirely the movie's fault, since the events recalled by George in real life say that their daughter did talk to an imaginary friend named Jodie. However, the method in which the movie plays out this scenario is utterly uninspiring.
What I found to be especially amusing was the exorcism - or, I guess it was a blessing of the house - done by a Priest. There was even steaming holy water when it touched the walls!

I hated the movie Van Wilder with absolute passion, but strangely enough, I felt that Ryan Reynolds did a good job as Mr. Wilder. I have been taking an interest to see where he's gonna go in the movie biz, and he wasn't too shabby as George. I think he's a good actor. Plus, the ladies should REALLY like him; he's got a killer body! He shows it often in this movie, too! Everyone else did fine, and the kids weren't as annoying as kids typically are in every movie that ever gets made. With what they had to work with, the actors did a decent job.
Douglas' directing was competent, but it never goes out of its' way to be more than satisfactory. The production is glossy and clean, which Michael Bay should be able to deliver on.

I went to see Amityville Horror because I was looking for some alright scares and brainless entertainment. I got just what I was expecting, but I was hoping for more. I found this to be a decent horror movie up until the final act. The final act is where nearly every horror movie falls apart (if it hasn't already before then), and this one is no different. The cliches flow out non-stop for the last twenty minutes, and I couldn't help but get a little annoyed at the fact that when you KNOW that your house is haunted and possessing your husband, and you KNOW shit is really dangerous, don't be surprised when you wait too long to do something about it that it's already too late.
If you're looking for some cheap scares, little to no surprises, and some brainless fluff, then Amityville is alright. If you want a creative horror movie, look somewhere else.

GRADE: C

Reviewed 4/17/05