R A M B O

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Summary:
Rambo lives a quiet life collecting snakes and fixing boats in Thailand. American missionaries ask him to take them up the river to Burma, where civil war is tearing the country apart. He's finally convinced to do so, and soon they are held captive. That's when it's up to Rambo to help mercenaries reach the village where they were last seen. Then, he puts the hurtin' and then some on some Burmese baddies.

Review:
I don't know if I could ask much more from a Rambo movie. OK, so First Blood is a damned good, more "quiet" kind of dramatic action movie. Then Rambo: First Blood Part II took the action factor up by 100 notches and damn nearly disregarded any need for a plot! That's all good, because I find it to be a damned entertaining piece of action fluff! I usually act as if the third installment was never made.

Twenty years later, he's not even looking for war when some pesky pacifist missionaries ask for his help down the river. One of the few complaints I have with this flick is the retardedly naive group of missionaries. Michael even says that he's been on mission to Burma 5 times and knows the risks. Well then, how does he object to Rambo killing pirates that were about to chop off their heads and rape the only woman in the group to death? Does he not understand the exception to the rule when it comes to survival? Also, Michael had no part in the violence, so he's still living a pacifistic lifestyle. His objection to Rambo saving all their lives is annoying as hell, and an unnecessary juxtaposition to war versus peace.
My main agenda with Rambo is to see my man, John Rambo go berserker on some punks. And booooy did I ever get that! It's as if over the last 20 years Rambo has been keeping all his violent nature bottled up inside, aging like wine in an oak barrel. Once that cork is popped off, he delivers an oxygenated fragrance that's resonated with pure blood. And it is a sweet, sweet display that starts with just a taste, but soon becomes an unlimited flow of untapped violence, thanks to the roasted flavors of Rambo's toasted fury!
Sure, the Burmese soldiers are undeniably evil. I found myself feeling slightly horrified when they attack the small village. EVERYONE is getting killed. There are only the quickest of flashes from one death to the next, all of which are brutal. Men, women and children. What I think made me a little more affected by the violence was how there wasn't any lingering on a mother having her baby torn from her. All the kills are given basically the same amount of screen time. It kept from making the more vulnerable deaths coming across as melodramatic and laughable. These soldiers are so evil that you can't wait for all of them to get knocked off - the more painfully the better.

The mercenaries are the only other communication Rambo has that doesn't involve him tearing their hearts out with his bare hands. They are an underdeveloped group of ragtag ex-soldiers. Their personalities vary enough to give you the super-tough asshole guy, and the soft-spoken "honorable" merc. Three more bodies round out the attitudes in between that spectrum. It's fun to see Rambo stare down the loudest jerkface in the group, though. Just because we know Rambo really IS a badass, and the loudmouth just thinks Rambo is quiet because he doesn't have anything to prove. OK, so it's simplistic, but I'm not coming to the movies tonight to have my mental muscles massaged.
I want Rambo to bring on the pain!

The final 20 minutes is one of the most exciting times I've had in the theater in quite a long time. I was almost jumping out of my seat with excitement. There was one of the coolest explosions I've ever seen in a movie. It's in my top ten list. Thousands of bloody rounds of many calibers from several different guns smack through and split flesh apart like water balloons to a brick wall. I can't believe this was rated R. I think an NC-17 is about in order on this one.

Rambo was more than ready to do what he does best... to put the motherlovin' SMACK down on the baddies! Everything that I'd want from a Rambo movie is here, and after 20 years it seems like his pent up angers have been aching to go unleashed. Rambo and some mercenaries get ample opportunity to explode, stab, shoot, rip, tear, dismember, disintegrate and completely OBLITERATE the Burmese baddies! The One Man Army of the 80's is back in full force! I have few complaints with Rambo. He served his vengeful dish to some well deserved victims, and damn that dish was cold! Gimme another!

GRADE: A-

Reviewed 1/25/08