Forbidden Kingdom
Director: Rob Minkoff
Cast:
Jet Li ... The Monkey King / The Silent Monk
Michael Angarano ... Jason Tripitikas
Jackie Chan ... Lu Yan
Bingbing Li ... Ni Chang
Yifei Liu ... Golden Sparrow
Summary:
Jason loves himself some kung fu! He goes to get as many chop-socky movies as possible from the kind old Chinese man in the Chinatown pawn shop. He sees a staff, and instead of presuming it's a neat prop, he immediately proclaims it as a magical staff that was possessed by the Monkey King.
After a botched up robbery, Jason is magically sent back in time to send the staff back to its rightful owner. He embarks on a journey that only fantasy tales for kids could experience.
Review:
Soon, the troupe realizes Jason can't be the carrier of the staff for the Monkey King without Kung Fu Power. How better to show a passage of time and a rapid increase in skills than with...
Show a lot of things happing at once,
And anything that we want to go from just a beginner to a pro,
(Montage…montage)
Anything that we want to go
Always fade out in a montage,
... and then suddenly, with the awesome montage there must have been about 10+ years of kung fu training and Li and Chan high-fiving. Because now Jason is a kung fu MASTER, and the final act kicks (Kapow!) into gear!
The story is more stupid than what I'm usually willing to accept, but it's entertaining enough. Also, the kung-fu chop-socky is neat to watch! And yes... Li and Chan duking it out for the first time kind of WAS a treat. I didn't fall into the hype, but it was fun watching them go at it. Even more funny was that they were equally Uber in their kung fu skillz, so there was no clear "winner" between the two. I didn't mind. It was fun to watch!
The acting was beyond horrible pretty much through the whole movie. I'm not talking about just the supporting Chinese stars (or Jet Li himself. Half the time I was like, "say wha-?") who couldn't speak English; I had a bigger kick (kaPOW!) out of the walk-in extras who spewed out one or two lines of dialog, yet had less heart and conviction in their delivery than Ted Bundy has remorse for killing people. My favorite was when the medic says "The bullet just missed his heart. He'll live." You have to hear it to believe it, folks!
Despite its many flaws, I found myself having a good time with Forbidden Kingdom. So it isn't a hard-hitting drama, but more of a kid's movie with two major Chinese action stars overshadowing the triteness of the whole cinematic affair. I kept thinking "wow, if I was ten years old, this movie would be SO the SHIT!!" It was fun. Some times that's all that's needed to make me happy.
... and boy, that kid sure looks like "The Beef"!
OK, so I'm watching this movie like I'm a ten year old boy. It didn't make me feel like a ten year old, but my enjoyment FOR Kingdom was the constant reminder that this is a movie made for young boys more than grown ups. Too bad it's PG-13, because that rating misleads us adults into thinking that Li and Chan teaming together for the first time on screen is something that should be taken seriously.
I was reminded a lot of The Neverending Story while watching this. All the way down to him being beat up on by the town bully, and after his adventure he comes back with skills and/or equipment that allows him to show the bully that bullying is BAD! Cheer! Huzzah!
When Jason is thrust into ancient China - in a time where Gods walk the earth and the Monkey King is imprisoned by real magic - he befriends a Drunken Master (Chan) who helps him on his quest. Soon he's also traveling with a super hot Chinese babe that can only lead to becoming his romantic interest. Suddenly everyone is speaking English around him during a time when English hadn't ever been spoken in China. But who cares, right? I mean he zoomed back in time, how far should your suspension of disbelief reach?
With an amazing montage. Team America's genius played out in my head during this sequence:
Remind everyone of what's going on (what's going on?)
And with every shot you show a little improvement
To show it all would take too long
That's called a montage (montage)
Oh we want montage (montage)
You need a montage (montage)
Even Rocky had a montage (montage)
from just a beginner to a pro,
You need a montage (montage)
Oh it takes a montage (montage)
If you fade out, it seem like more time
Has passed in a montage,
Montage... (fade out)
GRADE: C+
TRIVIA: Yifei Liu wasn't particularly boner-inducing for me. Until her final scene. Then I was like, "BOY-YOING!" Scha-wing and a HALF. I'm heading out to Chinatown TOMORROW in search of my OWN Yifei Liu!
Reviewed: 5/6/08