Pirates of the Caribbean:
At World's End

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Summary:
Captain Jack Sparrow has been killed but can be recovered, and his good ol' buddies from the first two movies go on an adventure to World's End in order to bring him back. There are also a hodge-podge of multi-countried pirates tossed in for good measure, Will's battle to save Bootstrap Bill from Davy Jones, Elizabeth's desire to marry... all the same stuff from the first two finally seeking to be resolved.

Review:
You can never say that Hollywood has a good intuition when it comes to quitting while they're ahead. This movie is another one of those winded third laps of a lackluster trilogy, hobbling its way to a half-assed conclusion amidst a slew of confusing plot devices, bloated running time and tired comedic schemes.
Everyone loves Jack Sparrow, of course. The writers know this. If ONE isn't enough for ya, then you'll probably have a real blast with a whole crew of them here! Perhaps World's End is toying with Sparrow's mind and has caused him to go insane. This is fine and dandy, but then they once again arrive later in the movie. I don't get why they did this other than to show him having a conscience, and fighting that conscience in the guise of several versions of himself. OK, fine, but was this really necessary? Hell, was this movie really necessary?
Running at over two and a half hours, I actually had a little nap in which I don't think I missed much (well, a character was killed, but obviously it wasn't a big deal because no one mentions him/her except in passing, and I didn't see anyone mourning over him/her at all). I was happy for the reprieve, because seriously folks... this movie is too damned long. It's neat looking, sure, but I happen to have fallen a little weary of the pirates dwelling amidst the Caribbean. Where the first movie was pretty fresh and nice to look at, this third round makes me feel like I'm watching a carbon copy of all that's been done the first two times around. To top that off, the set design and costumes feel like they've been manufactured for the movie screen, complete with expected scars on faces in all the right places, and smudges of dirt applied with the utmost care.
I was going along with the movie most of the time, accepting what I was seeing. Hoping for more, yes, but still going along with it. Then, the last hour crawls forward, and all the silliness and retarded antics of the final action scene makes everything beforehand look like a documentary. I can dig lots of people swinging on ropes, but eventually it was like watching several Spider-Mans web-slinging onto invisible skyscrapers and whizzing from boat to boat. Twenty men can fire their muskets at Will and Elizabeth, and not a one hits them from even fifteen feet away, yet they hit their mark with nearly every shot. I won't even go into Jack Sparrow's use of cannons, and his completely far-fetched and outrageous parachuting sequence. What the FUCK?!

What also confuses me is how pirates all of a sudden have become the "good guys" this time around. Last I checked, pirates are NOT good. They are the scum of the earth. That's what made the tentative acceptance of Jack in the first one so much fun. You shouldn't root for him, but in the end he's fighting for a better good - to rid the world of the evil forces of a supernatural gang of pirates. The second time around, the audience is centered on the small handful of pirates that might have a chance of redeeming themselves. The characters are within their own little microcosm, while the viewers can root for the few pirates who actually have a chance of turning from the dark side.
With the case of Pirates 3, the ethics of pirates has turned around. No longer is there the potential for those few rogue pirates turning a new leaf to better their ways. This time, we are supposed to root FOR the pirates, and hope they defeat the British Navy. The assembly of the Pirate Council is when pirates are no longer "bad guys", but the "good guys" according to the story. The British Navy is evil now, and the rapists, thieves and murderers of the sea are now the ally to the audience. I don't understand how this is an acceptable theme for a Disney movie.

Oh, and this movie has the WORST onscreen wedding. EVER!!

Pirates 3, while being overlong, over-the-top and nonsensical still managed to keep from capsizing. It's the worst of the trilogy, but many trilogies have been much worse. I say, just stop now. We don't need a proverbial cannonball sinking the entire franchise for a cheap buck.

GRADE: C-

Reviewed 6/18/07