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Summary:
A spunky 16 year old gets pregnant and decides to give the baby to adoptive parents. Her bohemian parents are bewildered but supportive while her awkward not-boyfriend is tethered on a proverbial string by her overbearing nature. Drama and witty cleverness ensue.

Review:
I'm pretty sure it's apparent that by the summary alone I didn't think too highly of this trite feature. I am OK with dramas, and even comedic dramas. What I'm not OK with is when Juno gets made. Diablo Cody has made a completely unconvincing 16 year old girl that grows up in a small town which seems completely devoid of internet, yet she's so fucking cool and "spunky" that she loves the 70's, quotes 80's cartoon popularity and always has a biting and cynical quip in any given situation. She's so spunky in fact that any chance of me becoming emotionally attached to her is lost after the first 10 minutes of her inner dialog and clever posturing and "I'm so smart that no one in this town can keep up" demeanor. I don't like Juno. She's a self-important cocky little bitch.

Looking past the painful banter, I think the story isn't a bad one. I like the fact that she decided not to go the abortion route (not turning this into anything political), but God knows there are too many damned people on the planet as it is (thus making my stance a little more ambiguous). I don't see why she shouldn't give her baby to a couple who can't have children of their own. I'd feel sorry for the child that would have to be raised under the supervision of Juno! Eek! Get rid of it, either by letting it die or giving it to someone else! Although it would be loved and raised better than the Federline kids.
It was nice to have Michael Cera and Jason Bateman in a movie together, even if they never ever meet one another on screen. Cera is the exact same person he was in ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT and Superbad, which is still a little charming, but I'm really looking forward to the day when he branches out of the "I'm an insecure and shy little geek" phase and try something new. Bateman was more of a vehicle for some dramatic obstacles, and I don't think he brought any kind of flavor to the role, but it's not his fault. Jennifer Garner was not too shabby either, if you like bawling women who seem to be uptight meanies.
I am at a loss as to how so many have fallen in love with this movie. I know there are a handful who also feel that Juno's way of talking is forced, and it's like the writer's opinions and voice are coming through her. I agree completely, but I wouldn't complain if the character that was using the writer's voice was the proper vessel for said opinions. I also don't find it "hip" to make references to not-so-obscure punk bands because they are "raw", talk about Thundercats and especially bring up Dario Argento and Suspiria. That last one was the nail in the movie's coffin for me. Juno says "this is so much cooler than Suspiria." What the fuck? Just... die.
Then later in the movie she screams "Thundercats are GOOOOOO!" The movie was already dead to me.
I laughed once. That was when Cera said "I work really hard at it."

The positives are that I like the story in concept, and I respect the family and their support to Juno. I just hate that little self-loving, self-important, arrogant and unrealistic heap of pretentiousness that is Juno herself. Pretty much from the moment when I saw her standing quietly in movie-hip contemplation sipping on a gallon of OJ. Then after the meaningless reference to men in shorts jogging, and looking at their little sausages flapping on the road. And on and on and on.
I don't know what was worse; Juno herself or the movie's soundtrack. I pretty much wasn't enjoying the quiet little folk tunes that helped this movie scream "I'm soooo hip, and I'm SUCH an independent film! Can't you tell by the soundtrack?!" I actually walked out before the credits, because I just couldn't bear to hear the song AGAIN when Juno and Paulie sing it together. I just up and left.

Go ahead and see it. You'll probably love it. I am sorry I didn't. I must be an asshole who is "too critical of movies". Yeah, that's it.

GRADE: D+

Reviewed 1/7/08