Beowulf

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Summary:
A village is being overrun by a terrible beast named Grendel. Beowulf sails across the seas to prove his worth as the greatest warrior, and rid them of their beastly burden. Afterwards, more trouble ensues when Grendel's mother gets pissed off.

Review:
Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary penned the screenplay based off of the classic English poem. Many liberties have been taken from the source material to give the movie a more "Hollywood" kind of feel, as well as making some interesting changes in the family tree aspects. I don't mind these changes, because it actually helped bring some new dynamics to the classic tale.

This is far and away the BLOODIEST and most NUDE PG-13 movie I have ever encountered. I was surprised as hell when I looked at the rating AFTER watching it and seeing that it was not R rated. At one point, Beowulf takes all his clothes off and fights Gremel completely in the buff, with his well-formed CGI induced ass frolicking up ceiling rafters and on top of a naked Grendel, all while Grendel's being poked repeatedly in the groin! Never mind the countless ripped and eaten bodies, flesh tearing and super-naked Angelina Jolie! I am not complaining one bit, but I have to laugh at the families that thought they were taking their kids to a potentially somewhat violent movie, and only while watching it realize that buxom broads barely containing their bosoms are being hit on by lecherous warriors who were long at sea! The only other PG-13 movie that I can compare such nude-ness is when I saw The Cider House Rules, but that's one of those artsy-fartsy kinda flicks that show Charlize Theron naked and men taking showers nude because it's warranted by the MPAA based on the period piece motif that the movie is placed in. I guess with Beowulf CGI asses and naked or scantily clad women are not as risque or something, because it's computerized.

I'm thankful for this high degree of violence, though, because it upped the fun factor by about 20 notches! Crispin Glover was great as - once again - an outcast freak. Their depiction of Grendel was that of a hurt, lonely and possibly misunderstood creature that can't help but be tormented by oversized eardrums, thus causing him to become a violent and destructive eater of human flesh. When festivities are in full swing, the noise of their merriment is like a church bell being swung and chimed right in front of your face. So then, he has to go and crash the party harder than Vince Vaughn and one of those Wilson brothers.
Beowulf was well portrayed by Ray Winstone. He has a great voice for The Ultimate Badass. Likewise with the rest of the cast for their given roles. It's not a big stretch for Malkovich to be Unferth, a sycophantic and backstabbing prick. I wouldn't expect many misses with a Zemeckis picture, because the dude knows how to direct a great looking movie with a solid cast to back it up. This is no exception to that rule.
There were times when it almost seemed like the movie was going to digress into the lower levels of bad blockbuster Bay-isms. However close it teetered over the edge into cheese and corn, it pulled through in the end and I was never actually scornful with the results. In many ways, it was as if they knew they were being a little silly, such as with Beowulf getting naked so he fights his foe with the same tools as his opponent. In the end, I was having fun watching it. I think their intention was to keep it somewhat light in many aspects, and did its best to avoid delving into the ultra serious. It's about having cool actions sequences and pretty CGI animation.

Beowulf is above all else just a fun time at the movies. I wish I wasn't too lazy to go to Seattle and see it in 3-d. I might just do it anyways, because I had a fun time with this. It's never too serious, rarely lags in pacing or gets very dull. It's a competently written and well directed dose of escapism. I couldn't ask for much more than what I got out of it.

GRADE:  B+

Reviewed 11/25/07