Running Scared

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Summary:
Holy fucking shit! A fuckin' kid just fuckin' shot his dad with Joey's hot gun that just smoked a fuckin' cop! Shit's goin' DOWN as Joey's chased by fellow baddies, the cops want the gun, and the kid's gone out for a night in the town hiding from EVERYONE; with the motherfuckin' GUN! Joey's ass is TOAST if he don't find it!

Review:

OK, after watching the first ten minutes of this movie, you'll know right off the bat if it's your 'flavor' or not. It's a rip-off wannabe fast-cut copycat of Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels mixed in with Michael Bay doing his Bad Boys II comedy, over-the-topness and editing style.
Many people hail this movie as being Daring, and Going Places That Other Movies Fear To Go. What I find hilarious is that these people probably don't see this movie with the same kind of tone as me. I see it as a satire, a comedy of melodramatic proportions. I feel this way because it's so silly that there's no way anyone should ever take this movie seriously. When it seems like it's being daring to some, I see it as another zinger; a laugh riot. Running Scared tries so hard to shock you, that it becomes completely implausible. If it's trying to shock you, then it failed miserably because nothing is true to life; it's all a movie, and you never feel you AREN'T watching a movie (for a kickass, ball-gripping crime drama, check out Narc!)

The first big mistake is starting the movie with a key shot from the END of the movie. It's such an over-used and worthless gimmick, which I've actually mentioned in a recent review. It doesn't immerse me into the story, nor does it make me anxious to see how they get to that point. Throwing that aside, all the superfluous F-bombs and far-out gun blasts put a grin on my face. After the first shootout, I started to laugh and I thought to myself, "Oh, I get it. This is a COMEDY!"
Keeping this kind of attitude for Running Scared was the perfect way to approach this for my viewing pleasure. If I thought this was actually trying to make a social commentary of some kind, I'd write it off as pretentious and a failure from nearly every angle. For those who still aren't getting this movie's in-joke, then what will they think when Oleg - the young freaky boy with the wierd eyes - goes out on the town hiding from everyone that wants to find him? He almost makes Elisha Cuthbert's night in season 2 of 24 look like a stroll through Central Park - during the day. I mean come on, man! He gets in one serious obstacle to another, finding the lowliest and most dangerious people and causing mayhem everywhere he goes. Once you think it can't get worse, it DOES get worse! Finally, the pedophile scene - which I won't spoil here - was the icing on the cake. Every minute during these scenes becomes sillier and sillier. By the time the closet door was opened, I was laughing out loud! Man, that shit is SO FUNNY! No way in HELL this movie is for real!

So, as far as action movies go, this one is alright. What-with Chazz doing his Cop-Hot-On-The-Trail bit, Paul Walker looking cute for the camera and acting tough, as well as Walker's wife in the movie looking hot and spewing one cliched "Wife Who Loves Her Husband In This Evil World" line after another... I can't help but take it with a pinch of salt.
If this really did try to be a shocking, brutal, and riveting drama, then this was a complete disaster. However, if it's what I think it is - a satire on all hyper-kinetic action movies for those with the attention span of a 4 year old, mixed with a heavy dose of R-rated Bad Boys II ultra-violence (which isn't that ultra due to the silliness of it all) - then I think it's an alright flick. It's not worth buying, or seeing more than once or twice, but the pedophile scene was so funny that it was worth the price of a rental. No, I didn't flinch once at anything that happened. The hockey puck torture; huh? That was shocking? I must have been hearing talk about another movie where someone was tortured with a hockey puck... and that version was disturbing!

And the ending really sucks ass.

GRADE: C-

Reviewed: 7/20/06