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Summary:
Zack thinks the new employee is hot, and word has it she only has sex with the Employee of the Month, so he tries to beat out the 'jerk' Vince for her sexness.

Review:
Everyone and anyone knows this movie is stupid. The problem with this movie is that it is so stupid, predictable and devoid of creativity and humor that it becomes a test of true faith and allegiance of movie loyalty for audience members to sit through it all the way through. I took a 20 minute break to get away from the monotomy and tortuous simplicity of this so-called 'comedy'. Zack was behind Vince on "Good Day Stars" after 3 days in a row, so I left for 20 minutes to see if when I came back the stars would end up neck and neck between Vince and Zack, and - holy shit! - I was RIGHT! I won't give it away if I tell you they are tied for the month to become the next E.o.t.M. so they have to do a retarded Sudden Death competition to win. Well, let's just say that everything will turn out exactly as you'd expect right from the moment the setup is made - as in, the first 3 minutes of the movie.
I'd forgive the movie of its' lack of storytelling if the comedy worked. That's the movie's biggest flaw, is that it is so bad that I actually knew everything that was going to be SAID before they said it. The things they did before they did it. The pratfall and/or physical pain they endure before it happens. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was the most premonitory psychic on the fucking planet the way I was calling out what was going to happen next to the random people sitting around me. It's movies like this that make me think that I really CAN make it writing screenplays. Put myself in auto mode and just spew out one shit line after another, and there we have it! Where's Andy Dick and that Kumar dude? THEY'D do this movie! It'll make MONEY, TOO!

The most amazing performance hands-down lies with Jessica Simpson! From the first few seconds onscreen, the black pit of emptiness that are her eyes presents such a vacuous display of vapidity, you really have to ask yourself "Can this much emptiness be deemed 'acting'?" There's no way someone can fake this much of a Barbie-Doll appearance! No WAY! This is when I realized that she'd be the greatest choice to have a role in the remake of Cherry 2000, in which she plays one of the pre-perfected cyborg sex machines. You know, the kind that isn't quite up to convincing enough to be human? She wouldn't have to go anywhere to reach the level of vacancy in the eyes in helping us believe she's a cyborg. Her robo-boobs also help us think that she's not really human.

So is this movie worth watching? Hell, no! Skip it. Only if you're wasted and too drunk to know what's happening onscreen will it be watchable. You might even get a couple of chuckles at how drunk you are, but still hating the movie! It made my head HURT. I didn't know a comedy was supposed to make you cry!

GRADE: F

Reviewed: 10/09/06